I set to the wonder this day the day after the big Holiday I
wonder if the recipes were alright, you know was there just enough of this or
that, or that pinch too much of salt or pepper. The reason of the wonder was
you know this meal has to last a whole another year.
So it was that I was off to the recipe books;
First up the stuffing, you know all those expectations all
delivered in a wonderful seasoned cubed style mush of chopped pieces of year
insults moisten with a touch of spit while the yelling is the oven warmed, trying
figuring out how to unthaw your one line charms of memories that shut up a
whole house, then someone with enough brains asks where the Turkey is….
This brings us to the time before time of the black
sleepless nights of spending needlessly on shit that wont work or is too cheap
to matter, to the real reason the car is out of gas as you drove half away a
crossed the country to find a per thawed yard bird that some one else called a
turkey. Spending two hours in car with your siblings can be like life on death
row seem easy, as they remember every shitty thing you did while they were
trying to be adults.
So now I wonder that the main cores is set with just enough
hidden anger to justify bringing liquor into the room, ( ever noted that the
volume of noise raises with the amount of liquor being poured.) I know today
that I can not blame the liquor for what my tongue said but I remember what the
local law officer said as he left.
So now that I am sure of the hangover and the fines I must now
pay, I am hoping beyond all hope to make it to the desert.
But first my friend we have to get to the serving part of
this wonderful thought of a holiday.
As the many insults fly and the courts and media will now
wonder the why, was it my childhood that sets me apart or was it that last parental
statement that now hangs upon my head, you know the one, the one the moms make
you promise never to break that wonderful warm feelings we all seem to make.
Then a child of one of yours makes clear the point of the
day, while chewing something found in their pocket they yell is it done yet, I
would try to remember the child however the backhand and the bounce afterwards,
only lead to the return of the WWF, on top of what was once a perfectly set
table. ( I’ll stay out of the who did who to what who because I remember that
officer said if you drink even one you can not drive, so consider yourself not
responsible, so I’ll not point a finger.( ever seen a yard bird fly? I did…))
Someone once read a story of how the perfect day was to be
done while giving everything away, you should have gone to charm school because
that is not at my house during the Holiday .
I am sure that after my departure the settlement of who is
God and why they use Shame will come back, as soon as someone there remembers
the desert its in the oven, I would server you, however they are waiting a
Monday hearing, so while I type this wonderful notes about some sick individuals
idea that its cool to hang out with family over a long weekend, I will now
explain the values of the hidden meanings.
Alas then I would have to call that HUMBLED PIE..
So of this wonderful wonder I have had about which is filled
with hidden expectations, I have come to one resolve once a year is more than
enough! You the F.. is Earnest Hemingway anyhow.
I hope your yard bird day was better than my yard being a
bird today, or my being a bird in this yard today.
While typing this I received six invitations to car pool the
shopping black moments of perfect prices, I shall now be spending that
wonderful expectation on my defense.
I should now state as clearly as I can, if I get asked one
more time, How my Turkey day was I’ll give you the reason of a chiefs recipe
book or at least the weight of it.
And note of hope, Next holiday please……
Butt then another Holiday would be fun.
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